Six and a half years ago I was rolled down the long hallway of Roanoke Memorial Hospital on a frigid winter morning. I looked back, high to the nines on ‘happy juice’, and gave my husband two thumbs up as I said, “When I see you next, I will have a brand new tummy!” Little did I know what a long, strange and wonderful life altering trip that would be for me. The one dream in my life….. to live life as a thin person…. would come true for me. I was going to get my “Cinderella” moment. I would work my back end off and earn every bit of it! All the same, it would be mine and all the sweetness that would come with being able to say, “I was movie star thin” at a point in my life. Alas through it all I had a very scary moment indeed at my thinnest time when my intestine perforated and I was literally hours from meeting my maker. I would meet an older, stuttering Doctor at just after 4 AM who would pace back and forth saying, “This is bad, this is really, really bad.” I am glad now I did not have time (nor did Paul) have time to process how very serious the matter was. After three days in ICU, five days with a nasal gastric tube (the most miserable device I have ever encountered in my life) and a week in the hospital, that stuttering Doctor, I would come to find out, was the best at what he did and saved my bacon! I will forever be thankful. I still have this pesky 25 lbs (regain) to get off… and I will! Oh, I will! Alas, I have moved my priorities in writing in another direction. Also, with gastric bypass after being (post) for so many years, there are only so many things one can talk about. It is for this and other reasons that I have decided this will be my final post for “The Losing Side”. The blog will stay here. I am not taking it off the internet. Anyone that needs my help or has questions about weight loss surgery knows I am more than happy to help in any way I can. You are welcome to contact me! I have my other two blogs and my Facebook account. So please feel free to ask any questions you want about this subject. With that, I will post part two of Thinking Thin:


The last post I stated that it was important to always eat breakfast, eat in moderation and eat a variety of food groups. I will note after my surgery I can concur. I have a few more suggestions to add to this. By doing these things and walking four to five times a week for about 30 minutes, no one would ever have to ‘diet’ again. So here are my other suggestions both my own and from Wikihow  :

1. EAT WHOLE AND UNPROCESSED FOODS:   The best foods you can choose are fresh vegetables & fruits, whole grains, nuts, anything that is not processed or at least as little as possible. Become a label reader. I know we did years ago. Instead of Hamburger Helper, we did our own skillet dishes (just as quick, inexpensive and easy), with canned tomato sauces, whole grain pasta, turkey burger, etc. There are a lot of good inexpensive quick and healthy recipe books if you know where to look. Amazon had them and in our area, “Ollie’s” has some great cookbooks for $5 with tons of recipes. I have one for the crock pot and one regular one that is ‘inexpensive, quick and healthy’.  Have carrot sticks ready to munch on and fruit washed and ready to go. It really is the best and when you start enjoying it, processed sweets will taste awful. I cannot even eat birthday cake anymore it is so sweet. I can eat certain ones from people I know that make their own (because their frosting is much more mild)… a small sliver… but from the store with that heavy butter cream frosting, forget it, give me a sweet slice of watermelon any day! As I type this I am snacking on fresh grapes, wheat thins and a few slice of jack cheese with some zero calorie flavored water …. delicious!

2. EAT A VARIETY OF GOOD FOODS AND ENJOY WHAT YOU ARE EATING:  So you are eating whole, unprocessed, fresh and wonderful tasting foods. Spice them up and enjoy! Most people know my ‘go to’ lunch is sauteed colored peppers with red onions wrapped in a tortilla with cottage cheese and pineapple. As I am cooking my peppers and onions, I add Mrs Dash onion blend, a bit of garlic sauce, cilantro and bit of lime juice. What I end up with is vegetable fajitas. I wrap them in a tortilla with a bit of sour cream and it is wonderful! Most things can be spiced up to bring out the taste! Google the food you plan on cooking and see what spices compliment them. I made a lovely Asian Salad a few days ago with fresh lettuce, green onions, almonds, chicken breasts, mandarin oranges, chow mein noodles and a dressing you make with a little oil, vinegar and some other ingredients. The dressing for the entire salad is barely 1/2 a cup. Nonetheless, that is all that is needed and it is wonderful, refreshing and oh, so healthy! If you cook foods that are are healthy and taste good, you will start feeling good and never go back to fast food again. I cannot eat it (with a few very small exceptions). It makes me sick! I mean literally as in it physically makes me sick at my stomach.  I can eat Subway and a few …. very few…… other things. However, the list is very small!


3. GET ENOUGH REST, STAY ALERT THROUGH THE DAY AND DON’T BE A COUCH POTATO:  Everyone knows getting enough sleep is very important not just when trying to lose or maintain weight, but in good health in general. Sleep deprivation can be problematic in many health issues including trying to lose or maintain weight. Therefore, if you are having issues with insomnia that have been going on for more then just a few weeks, you may want to consult with your Doctor to see what can be done to help in that area. As a chronic pain patient, this is one issue I struggle with. Many times I am up in the night because of pain induced insomnia. Also, keeping alert and moving are paramount to successful weight management. We should all have some sort of regular exercise but if that is difficult at the moment for whatever reason, park in the ‘heart smart’ area (if possible) at the mall, take the stairs, walk at a brisk pace, take a Sunday stroll or anything that just gets you moving. Any movement, even walking around your house for 15 minutes, is better than no movement. We all enjoy the conveniences of modern living. Sadly it has also made many of us couch potatoes. I am just as guilty of this as the next person. Sometimes I literally have to force myself to get up and ‘go’.

If I could sum it up in one simple sentence it would be: Weight loss surgery is a tool, not an ‘easy fix’.


It has been my pleasure and passion to write this blog the last several years. The time has come for me to focus my energy in other directions. If I have even helped one person, it has been worth it. Again, if you want to reach me regarding questions about weight loss surgery, you can link through this blog to “Hitting The Wall” and leave me a message or through my Facebook account. I wish you health, happiness and luck on your journey. Thank you for reading. Kelli 🙂


A Thin Frame Of Mind, Part 1


Our mind is a very powerful force. It can motivate us to achieve many things. Our determination and hard work is also imperative if we are to achieve success in anything whether it is to graduate from school, excel at a hobby or improve our health. It is for this reason that many times people who are very overweight have such a difficult time losing weight; it is such a long, hard road. What most people trying to undertake this task (I was also in this group before my RNY) do not realize, it is a life long commitment to eating healthy and exercise. No, it does not mean you have to give up cheesecake forever. No, it does not mean you are going to be the next female body builder. Moderation is the key. I compare it to my enlightenment to learning Spanish. I had three years of Spanish in High School and a year of Spanish in College. The best advice  that was ever given to me was when I was on the school site council at my oldest daughters first school (in Bakersfield, CA). It was a magnet school and about 50% Hispanic so we had a lot of bilingual families. My daughter’s 5th grade teacher, who was very fluent in Spanish, told me to ‘think in Spanish’. After that piece of advice  the flood gates opened wide  for me!  All those years I ‘translated it in my head’ when it was just so much easier to think in the language. So rather than worry about a weight or thinking you might be fat, why not just ‘THINK THIN!’ and see what happens? I know I am!


I found various sources and compiled a list which include my own observations:

1. ALWAYS EAT BREAKFAST: Yes! I really do agree, breakfast is the most important meal of the day but seems to be the most skipped meal. It makes no sense. You have already gone several hours without eating, so your blood sugar is low. I will attest, my tiny little Grandma started each day out with a truck driver style breakfast and pretty much grazed the rest of the day. She was 110 lbs soaking wet but I bet you she could pack away more than I could come breakfast time! I start my day with an almond milk and fruit smoothie followed by a small mid morning snack. One thing to consider too, if you go too long without food, your metabolism will start slowing down. It is better to give it a good solid breakfast and medium lunch with a lighter dinner. Other foods that are good for breakfast, Oats with fresh blueberries, muesli (this is a favorite of Princess Kate if you remember my post “Eating Like a Princess“), eggs with whole grain toast and grapefruit or low sugar, high fiber cereals with 1% or skim milk and cut up fruit. I would advise only having starchy things like waffles, pancakes, bagels, etc occasionally as these are simple carbs and are generally low protein but high sugar and not usually very high fiber. They do not keep you full long. I am a creature of habit and adore my smoothie. I rarely have anything else. It is delicious, filling and healthy!


2. EAT IN MODERATION: Yes! It is really true, it is not what you eat as much as how much you eat. While post RNY you do have to make changes in your diet to more healthy foods, the basic overall principle is that you just cannot hold more than about a cup of food per meal. The best example is this: I tell people after about a year post RNY you can generally hold a “Subway” 6 inch sandwich, provided you are good and hungry. I eat about 1/2 the amount of an average woman. My slight, but very ‘achievable return to goal’ regain has to do with a red light food I am trying very hard to stay away from and am doing a lot better. Also, my fibromyalgia has been in over/super/mega flare and when it does that, I just cannot move an inch for walking. Portion control is not the issue for me. The good news is, if you eat pretty healthy, I generally recommend that you stay on your set course and just cut down by 2/3 and add some walking, raise your water drinking and see what happens! You might be surprised. And yes, you must allow for that occasional splurge. Not splurging has derailed more healthy eating plans than anything. If you are really, truly craving something, have it. Do not use it as an excuse to blow the whole day. For instance, if you are craving a piece of cheesecake, eat your normal, healthy day’s worth of food and then treat yourself to a small piece of cheesecake. FRAME OF MIND ALERT: thin people do not say, “I have blown my day” if they have a piece of cake or go have an ice cream cone. It is simply an occasional treat. I used to be morbidly obese, I know the thinking all too well; “I blew my day, I will start tomorrow…. I will start Monday…. I will start after so and so’s party…. I will start for New Years.” Eat well, then eat the cheese cake and enjoy!thinkthin1

3. EAT A VARIETY OF ALL THE FOOD GROUPS:  There is every ‘diet’ one can imagine out there. However, the bottom line is simple. One must take less calories of the right kinds of foods in than they metabolize in to lose weight or take the same amount of calories in they metabolize to maintain. There is low carb, low fat, eat high grains and no fruit, eat monkey brains with iguana toes! Seriously! The bottom line is simple! Fruits and vegetables with whole grains and lean meats (if you are vegetarian, substitute with cheese, tofu, eggs, whatever your protein choice is) along with some dairy and a small amount of good fats (avocado, peanut butter, olive oil, etc). Of course, there is the occasional treat as I already mentioned. So many people have gotten rich writing books stating ‘this is the secret to weight loss’. There is the Atkins, South Beach, etc. I maintain if one must follow a ‘diet’ the best, by far, is Weight Watchers. Why? Because they simply give you a calorie system (using points) of the different food groups and bonus points for those occasional treats. Add some walking four or five times a week along with plenty of water and it is not rocket science!  That is why gastric bypass works! It is forced portion control along with forced healthy eating. You have no choice because of your new ‘plumbing’ and there you go, you lose the weight!

Sometimes things get over complicated. Along with that we live in a highly stressed and far too busy society that is spread way too thin. Many families subsist on fast food and now the obesity problem is starting to plague our children. By developing a frame of mind that is healthy and just simply a way of life, one will soon adapt to this as a normal way of thinking.

Stay tuned next week for part 2 of  “A Thin Frame Of Mind” for more tips and a recommendation that does not directly impact weight loss but does impact overall health. It is a step I have taken with my husband and myself and have noted a vast difference in the way I feel when I eat! Until next time. K.thinkthin3


Tricks Of The Trade!

smoothie2That eternal battle to, at the very least, keep the scale at bay wages on! Now that spring  finally seems to be here (anyone know where I can find Puxatony Phil…. that lying little rodent?!) maybe I can start with some nice, soft walks along our very swollen river. Also, the pool will be opening soon. Of course, it will be at least a month before the water is warm enough for me to get into it…. with my sensitivity to cold. Nonetheless, it will get me out of the house, by the pool and hopefully in more of a ‘no -red-light-food’ frame of mind.

Now morning would not be morning without my fruit and almond mik smootie.  That is about as healthy as you can get! You take assorted choices of frozen fruit….. for me, mango, pineapple, blueberries and strawberries, put it in the blender, cover it vanilla almond milk (I am lactose intolerant and almond milk is healthier than soy milk!); I add a little stevia and blend. Sometimes I have to let it sit and thaw for about five minutes, but soon, I have a lovely, blended concoction of YUM and a good start to my day!

shrimpsalad Of course anyone that knows anything about me knows I live for sauteed fresh sweet peppers and red onion wraps and cottage cheese and pineapple for lunch. However, I have found a new lunch to ‘shake it up’ a bit here and there and have a change of pace! My last blog was devoted to how things are getting a bit ‘fishy’ around here and we are eating more fish. Well, that is true! That includes lunch as well as dinner. I have discovered, shrimp salad! YUMMY! I simply get bagged, ready to eat salad and add salad shrimp (put them in a strainer and run the frozen shrimp under cold water for a few minutes and they are ready!), top it with 1000 island dressing (I prefer real dressing so I use a little bit of real vs. a lot of diet which is full of processed crap). This is delicious! The ready to eat salad shrimp are only $3.99 a bag at Kroger right now. That is good for at least four salads.  It is also very healthy. For those wanting to go one step further, you could use balsamic vinegar or even lemon juice and have a tantalizing treat. For those fairly recent Post RNY: salad shrimp would be a great protein punch that is so needed when you have the surgery and your body is reacting like a sky-diver from an airplane that is flying at  10,000 feet….. straight from the air hurling towards the ground! Those little tiny shrimps are packed with protein! As much as I love my pepper wraps, they are not really big on protein. I don’t care for putting cheese in with them, so adding cheese for me is not really an option. Having shrimp salads a few times a week also breaks the monotony of just having the same thing day in and day out.


One more ‘trick of the trade’ I have recently learned: to infuse my water! I am one of those people that really just plain and simple, has a very difficult time drinking the water I am supposed to drink. I got a ‘share’ on my Face Book from my best friend since High School about adding tangerines, cucumber, grapefruit, ice and peppermint leaves (which I cannot find; tho I found a mint plant at Wal Mart I am going to try my hardest not to kill! I make NO promises) …. you add these to water bottles/ cups and putting them in the fridge for several hours. It infuses the water with anti-oxidants, fat melting boosters and just plain old ‘stuff that is good for us’. On top of that, it flavors the water naturally and makes it much more palatable and refreshing! I really enjoy it and find myself drinking much, much more water than I was before. Wow! If I had known this years ago, I would be drinking so much less diet soda and way more water! You can change it up how you like it….. more tangerines less cucumber (I don’t put a lot of cuke in it)….. more grapefruit/less grapefruit, add a lime, etc. The point is, you are adding natural and extremely low calorie items in small quantities. Try it! I know you will love it like I do! I even eat the tangerines when I am done with a water bottle. frustrationIn the meantime, if you are like me, I am frustrated! But I am just doing my best, after all, that is all I can do! I am maintaining so as long as I maintain I can accept that for now. I don’t like it, but I can accept it. I only want to lose about 20 lbs, and I will! Oh, I will! For now, I wanted to share a few ‘tricks of the trade’ and hope that maybe they have sparked that light bulb for you or helped you out! Until next time, K.

A Few Recipes

Things have gotten fishy around here lately! I never was much of a ‘fish’ person, but that has changed! Poultry has lost much its appeal for me and I am not a huge fan of a red meat. We do eat lean pork about once a week, but it is our weekly ‘treat’ and not a usual, several times a week sort of meal. While fish can be costly, there are lovely, mild catches such as tilapia and swai…. along with salmon that seems to always be on sale….. that are just as inexpensive and ground chuck only a whole lot healthier for the body. Though my body seems to be at stuck mode on the scale….  at least I am not gaining….. and I will do what I can to keep my diet healthy! I thought I would share a couple of my favorite fish recipes!

A healthier version of  “Fish and Chips”…. though I just do the fish part and usually bake some yukon gold baby spuds with a bit of olive oil and saute some onions to add in with the finished potatoes.

Oven-Fried Fish and Chips




Fish and chips are traditionally sold wrapped in paper to soak up all the grease — not a good sign. To cut the calories in half and reduce the fat, we coat the delicate fish in a crispy cornflake crust and then bake it along with sliced potatoes. Serve with coleslaw and malt vinegar or lemon wedges.

Nutritional Information
(per serving)

Calories 325
Total Fat 5g
Saturated Fat
Cholesterol 43mg
Sodium 331mg
Total Carbohydrate 45g
Dietary Fiber 3g
Protein 24g



oven-fried fish and chipsKen Burris

Serves: 4 Edit

Yields: 4 servings

Total Time: 45 min

Prep Time: 25 min


  • Canola or olive oil cooking spray
  • 1 1/2 pound(s) russet potatoes, scrubbed and cut into 1/4-inch-thick wedges
  • 4 teaspoon(s) canola oil
  • 1 1/2 teaspoon(s) Cajun or Creole seasoning, divided
  • 2 cup(s) cornflakes
  • 1/4 cup(s) all-purpose flour
  • 1/4 teaspoon(s) salt
  • 2 large egg whites, beaten
  • 1 pound(s) Pacific cod (see Tips & Techniques) or haddock, cut into 4 portions (I USE SWAI and it turns out just fine!)





  1. Position racks in upper and lower third of oven; preheat to 425°F. Coat a large baking sheet with cooking spray. Set a wire rack on another large baking sheet; coat with cooking spray.
  2. Place potatoes in a colander. Thoroughly rinse with cold water, then pat dry completely with paper towels. Toss the potatoes, oil, and 3/4 teaspoon Cajun (or Creole) seasoning in a large bowl. Spread on the baking sheet without the rack. Bake on the lower oven rack, turning every 10 minutes, until tender and golden, 30 to 35 minutes.
  3. Meanwhile, coarsely grind cornflakes in a food processor or blender or crush in a sealable plastic bag. Transfer to a shallow dish. Place flour, the remaining 3/4 teaspoon Cajun (or Creole) seasoning, and salt in another shallow dish and egg whites in a third shallow dish. Dredge fish in the flour mixture, dip it in egg white, and then coat all sides with the ground cornflakes. Place on the prepared wire rack. Coat both sides of the breaded fish with cooking spray.
  4. Bake the fish on the upper oven rack until opaque in the center and the breading is golden brown and crisp, about 20 minutes.
    1. Carb Servings: 3 starch, 3 lean meat. Carbohydrate Servings: 3. Nutrition Bonus: Vitamin C (58% daily value), Potassium (27% dv).


Barbecue-Glazed Salmon


This recipe has been tested by Redbook


Salmon fillets make quick and easy summertime meals. Here, a barbecue rub creates a sweet and spicy glaze for the healthy fish.




Nutritional Information
(per serving)

Calories 251
Total Fat 9g
Saturated Fat
Total Carbohydrate 11g
Dietary Fiber
Protein 31g



Barbecue-Glazed SalmonJim Franco

Serves: 4 Edit

Prep Time: 8 min

Cook Time: 8 min



  • 4 (3/4-inch-thick, 5 ounces each) skinless salmon fillets
  • 4 teaspoon(s) purchased spice rub for fish
  • 1/4 cup(s) chili sauce
  • 1 1/2 tablespoon(s) brown sugar
  • 1 tablespoon(s) olive oil
  • 1 tablespoon(s) lemon juice
  • 1 teaspoon(s) grated, peeled fresh ginger
  • 1/4 teaspoon(s) ground cumin
  • 1/4 teaspoon(s) freshly ground black pepper






  1. Rub salmon fillets all over with spice rub. (I USE MILD SPICE … because of my sensitivity to spices!)
  2. Position oven rack 4 inches from broiler element and heat to high.
  3. In a small bowl, whisk chili sauce, brown sugar, olive oil, lemon juice, ginger, cumin, and pepper until blended; set aside.
  4. Coat a large broiler-proof nonstick skillet with olive-oil cooking spray and place over medium-high heat. When skillet is hot, add salmon; cook 3 minutes undisturbed. Turn fillets; cook 1 minute longer. Remove skillet from heat and brush fillets with chili mixture. Place skillet under broiler; broil 3 to 4 minutes, until salmon is glazed and shiny and just opaque in the thickest parts. Serve with corn on the cob and coleslaw, if desired.


I have not tried this recipe, but it looks awfully good!

Honey-Glazed Salmon with Grilled-Pineapple Salsa


This recipe has been tested by Redbook


Grill salmon fillets tropical-style — all in the time it takes to drink some wine and download your day.




Nutritional Information
(per serving)

Calories 342
Total Fat 10g
Saturated Fat
Total Carbohydrate 26g
Dietary Fiber
Protein 38g



honey glazed salmon with grilled pineapple salsa<br /><br /><br /><br />
Tina Rupp

Serves: 4 Edit


  • 1/2 cup(s) diced red bell pepper
  • 2 tablespoon(s) fresh lime juice
  • 1 tablespoon(s) chopped fresh mint
  • 2 cup(s) pineapple, in large chunks or thick rings
  • 1 tablespoon(s) juice drained from pineapple pieces
  • 3 tablespoon(s) honey
  • 4 (6 ounces each) skinless salmon fillets, about 1 inch thick





  1. In a bowl, combine bell pepper, lime juice, and mint.
  2. In another bowl, combine pineapple and 1 tablespoon of the honey; in another small bowl, combine pineapple juice and the remaining 2 tablespoons honey.
  3. Prepare an outdoor grill or heat a grill pan over medium-high heat. Brush salmon with olive oil and sprinkle with kosher salt and freshly ground pepper. Grill salmon and pineapple 4 to 5 minutes, turning only pineapple, frequently, until browned. Remove pineapple from grill. Flip salmon, brush with honey mixture, and grill 4 to 5 minutes longer.
  4. Dice grilled pineapple into 1-inch cubes; add to bowl with bell pepper mixture, tossing to combine. Serve salmon with salsa.


If you have never been a fish fanatic, just try it! You may like it! Until next time, K.



Eating Like A Princess


Those who know me know well, it takes a whole lot to become a hero in my world. I have heroes and they have earned that place for a variety of reasons. Most have one common denominator, their unquenchable thirst to leave the earth a little better than it was before they were here. Princess Diana of Wales, first wife of Prince Charles (he, is not one of my heroes…. just to make that very clear), is one of my most cherished heroes and I was crushed by her untimely passing. Like millions of other people worldwide, I watched her beautiful boys grow into dashing men.

One of the many things I loved about Princess Di was that she was tall. In fact, she was taller than me by a few inches. She was not ‘stick insect thin’. She was, nonetheless, beautiful and oh so graceful.  She had my attention! She had broad shoulders, something I struggled with and something that no diet in world and no plastic surgeon….. no matter ‘how good’ or how well paid could shave off. One of the deep dark secrets the world did not know at the time was the beautiful Princess was paying a big price to stay trim. She had the eating disorder known as Bulimia Nervosa; eating and then purging /vomiting/ taking laxative and/or water pills or any other means of ridding the food that was ingested.  Princess Di openly admitted by the mid 1990’s that food was her comfort to fill the void off her empty marriage. Her courage to come forward helped thousands of women around the world combat their own eating disorders and was something that earned my respect taking her from someone I greatly admired and promoting her to, “Hero”. Princess Di also became my hero because she put the best interest of others before pomp and circumstance. At at time when we really did not understand a lot about HIV and AIDS, she was out holding babies with AIDS and touching patients dying of this horrible disease. She did not care what the queen thought of this, she cared about what was right and good. When she died it broke my heart. When she passed,  sleeping was much easier for me. Eight hours in bed was the norm and not the exception. Insomnia was a very rare thing. Now it is pretty much a way of life. At that time, I was not a morning person at all. So you know I loved Princess Di because I woke up at ‘God awful o’clock’ USA time to watch her funeral, live, here on the East Coast in Virginia. I cried with the rest of the world as I said goodbye to my ‘friend’.






When Diana’s eldest son Prince William married a few years ago, it was delightful! His bride was lovely and Diana would have been pleased. Catherine, or Princess “Kate”, as the world would know her, Princess of Cambridge would be much like her husbands late Mother…… refined, elegant and stylish…… yet likable and real; not stuffy nor stuck-up.

My small regain in the last year of about 20-25 lbs has left be beating my head against that proverbial wall. I have tried everything under the sun. I have gone back to basics. I have eaten barely nothing. I have eaten nothing except the bare minimum. I eat the same thing each day; an almond milk smoothie with blueberries and various fruits, a pepper wrap (red, yellow and orange sauteed with red onions)  and low fat cottage cheese with pineapple tidbits for lunch, and a nice, lite, healthy dinner. So what IS the problem?  No movement? Winters in Virginia, unlike my homeland of California, are cold. While not constantly snowy, it is still cold here for nearly four months of the year. For a person with chronic pain, the cold goes straight to the bone. Growing up in the southern San Joaquin Valley of California, a ‘cold’ day was one that dips below 50 degrees Fahrenheit. Going out walking is basically impossible for someone with chronic pain when the windchill is 22 degrees. It simply is not an option.

I had an epiphany just a few days ago. Why not try eating like a princess? Both the late Princess Diana and her daughter in law Princess Kate have svelte figures my large Dutch frame will never see. However, I can get back to my ‘happy place’ which is fine by me! I looked just plain ill under 140 lbs and really started getting told I looked truly healthy at about 150 lbs and above. How many women in their forties can say they are within spitting shot of their high school graduation weight? So as doom, gloom and tough as it all seems, there is a bright side to it all. Still, there is much to be done. So ‘eating like a princess’ is a rational thought. I researched and found out that Princess Diana liked to eat a light breakfast….. after a strenuous work out.  She liked freshly squeezed carrot or apple juice, perhaps half a grapefruit or some melon with a poached or scrambled egg that would be coupled with whole wheat toast and coffee. With her trim figure being at the forefront of her mind, she never had bacon. I know firsthand, being married to a Northern Irishman and spending much time in the area, the Brits and Irish like their bacon! Sadly, despite the contrary, Princess Diana danced with eating disorders. I also must confess to this same battle. I have danced this dance twice in my life….. once while in High School and once, just a few years ago. So I decided to focus more on Diana’s daughter in law, Kate Middleton. Though I admit I truly feel Kate is too thin, I do feel if I look at how she kept her thin, howbeit too thin figure, I could get some ideas on how to get back to my happy zone and still maintain a realistic weight. In other words, think like a thin person.

The first thing I discovered was that Kate views food as fuel to keep her body healthy and active. Good way to think! Kate begins her morning much the same way her late Mum-in-law did….. with organic porridge (for us in the USA that is oatmeal), muesli, which is a base of uncooked rolled oats, fruit, and nuts….. or you can buy it at the grocery store already made. It is rather costly and it is full of wheat for those that are sensitive to grains. I have read and heard on TV shows that a good, hearty bowl of oats with blueberries or another anti-oxidant fruit is a very good way to start the day. I have had this on a few occasions and can say it is a very good, low calorie but rib-sticking way to get going.

I usually start my day with an almond milk, all fruit smoothie. I put fresh or frozen blueberries and frozen strawberries, mangos and sometimes frozen or fresh pineapple. If you like bananas you can put in 1/2 a banana. Add about enough almond or soy milk to cover the fruit and 2-3 tablespoons of stevia (optional), blend and drink up!

No pun intended, but for the meat of the food comparison. I truly feel whether oats or a smoothie, either breakfast is fine. What about the rest of the day? I wish I could say there was some Holy Grail…. some big secret. There is not. Princess Kate is a light eater and enjoys organic (for those of us who can afford it, regular will suffice for the rest of us) fruits and vegetables. She is said to stick to a diet of “beans, salads, salmon, and barbecues.”  That sounds good to me! One of her favorite recipes was a salmon that I actually tried. It was delicious! I have never been a fish person, but am turning into one. As long as the fish is not strong, I am actually finding I prefer this light, tasty main dish to chicken. I think I have had chicken 80% of the week for so many years, I have actually ‘burnt myself out’ on poultry. It does not sound good to me anymore. I turn more to fish, ground meat (turkey) based meals or even veggie based meals with cheese serving as the protein. While I did make a lovely chicken marsala a few nights ago that is a ‘keeper’, chicken at The Glover’s seems to be the exception these days rather than the rule. You will, however, generally find a bag of Tilapia ready to be baked.

So what am I doing wrong? Junk. It is that simple. I have taken to marshmallow poles from Dollar General and Marshmallow Confetti from Wally World. Also, I need to drop the soft, white tortilla for my veggie pepper wraps and substitute whole wheat, keep a strict watch on portions and of course, move. Now with my fibro and the sluggish start we are having with spring (one nice day so far), moving is at best, difficult. I don’t have the money right now to join a gym so that is not an option. So I am at the mercy to the great outdoors. I am not gaining any weight…. thank God. I have kept off that 5-7 lbs I have lost. Thank God. I just am not going anywhere. So just those simple things and guess what? I already am, eating like a princess. The process was kind of like getting lost and going on a big trek only to find out you were right back where you started. Ironic? Perhaps, all the same, it was a good learning process to see that I really was already eating like a princess. I just need a few minor adjustments. Until next time, K.



Misconceptions About Weight-Loss Surgery


I have taken to watching the “House” re-run marathon on ION TV on Saturday nights while Paul is at work. I love “House”… the show that is…. the character…. an ass, albeit a lovable ass. If Dr. Gregory House M.D. were my Doctor, he would have me in a puddle of tears. He would get the job done, but I would be a mess! A recent episode perked my interest (re-run as the show ended its run on its own accord a few years ago). My husband and I watched the show in its first run but were ‘late bloomers’ and entered the show in either its third or fourth season. I missed this episode the first time around. I would have remembered this episode vividly because it had its facts so off base. The final, end of the show, when the ‘House’s lights come on’ and he gets his final epiphany moment; the patient has a rare but treatable disorder. Her liver ‘needs’ extra fat and carbohydrates. I refuse to quote House both the character and the script because it is both insulting to heavy people and is a misrepresentation. I was there, I know. I won’t use those words now or ever. I will not ever forget! However I will clarify for because the writers did not do their research properly.

  • Gastric Bypass is technically reversible however, the medical community technically considers this a ‘non’ reversible surgery. Because no organs are removed during the process, the stapling of the stomach or other gastric methods can in theory be undone. But the existing scar tissue makes the repeat operation more difficult; there is an increased risk of bleeding; and getting the suture or staple lines to heal after a second operation is often more difficult. Getting the nerves to line up properly is extremely difficult if not impossible. The chances for gastroesophageal reflux disease is very high.   You can do a ‘revision’ and alter some of the re-routed plumbing but once the big portion of your stomach is cut, one should consider it a done deal. Being entire legalistic, I have had a slight revision…. to save my life. When I had my intestinal perforation and Dr. L. Reif Kessler performed an emergency gastrojejunostomy, my medical records show it as a revision and Dr. Kessler was very detailed, telling me he had to ‘re-size’ the opening to the connection of the intestine to my pouch by about 1/4 of an inch meaning food would now travel slightly faster through the pouch. I have never vocalized it here until now, but I in part blame this revision for my slight regain. I, however, make this very clear….. I would rather be alive and ten or even twenty pounds heavier than the alternative.
  • You do not need to do any sort of revision surgery to add carbohydrates or sugar back to the diet. Her character even proved this when she did the ‘oh so fat-girl thing’ of stopping and getting chocolate cake at the cafeteria because you know fat people;  it is all that chocolate cake. If her character could eat chocolate cake, why a revision? Why not just add some healthy carbohydrates and moderate sugar?
  • The shows writers did a real disservice by buying into stereotypes. I, like all weight loss surgery patients,  tried every diet. I did everything under the sun. With Hashimotos Hypothyroidism ( officially diagnosed many years ago), I already had one check against me. Once I was given the tool, I was able to eat in moderation. Once I started eating healthy and in moderation, I was able to feel how wonderful my body felt eating fruits and vegetables…. about 75% of the grocery basket for my home is devoted to produce…. then some lean meats, low fat dairy and yes, an occasional treat. To be really honest, I don’t even really like cake. It is too sweet. I will note also, my weight loss surgery did nothing to improve my fibromyalgia. I would likely be partially wheelchair bound if I still was double my weight.


Those of us that have had weight loss surgery know the drill. You prepare for months.  I am speaking for gastric bypass here, however, am going to stick my neck out and say as far as I know, Lap Band has similar requirements. I know Dr. Lucktong was preparing to become trained to administer the Lap Band procedure about the time I had my RNY, in the winter of 2007 and I know now, he is an ‘old pro’ at the surgery. I am confident, for Dr Lucktong, his requirements would be about the same, across the board. There are a number of tests both medical and psychological that you must go through.

My body was about to undergo a very rigorous undertaking and no stone was to be left unturned. They checked my heart. As I stated on my “About” page, I was able to undergo the treadmill (at the time) but threw up a ‘false positive’ so then had to go to a cardiologist. The cardiologist administered drugs to speed my heart up and give it the illusion that it had just been exercising. Then they performed several tests including scans of my heart. The final verdict? My heart was in excellent condition. What was nice about this was I now know when I went on that table, my heart did not have any damage from the years I had spent carrying the extra weight. I got a clean bill of health on my ticker.

I had to get clearance from my endocrinologist and undergo psychological evaluation. These things took several months. In all, my quest to have gastric bypass surgery was a ten month journey. I wanted it like I had never wanted anything for myself in all my life. If you do not want it and do not take it seriously, you will not succeed because it is not a ‘get thin quick’ card. No. It is a tool. I remember my one year evaluation as I stood in awe of Dr. Lucktong, and Dr. Lucktong stood in awe of me as he said, “All I did was give you the tool….. you are the one who did all the work.” And work it is….. never ending, never ceasing work.

While the stereotypes of a ‘fat girl who got thin the easy way’ make a good script for the acidic comic that only “Dr. House” can deliver, it does nothing to help erase the stigma that many people attach to weight loss surgery patients. It makes for good drama…. especially Dr. House style. I also suppose the writers had to some how tie it into her surgery / former obesity issue. I can only hope that as time goes on if future medical drama shows decide to do stories such as this, they decide to check their facts very carefully before they proceed. Until next time. K.

Reference: *site the “Sophisticated Egg”

Keep On Chugging…..Just Keep on Chugging…….

The battle of the scale has to be the most frustrating obstacle in the world. The good news is I have lost about seven pounds in the last month, the bad news, I have at least twenty more pounds to go to get where I feel comfortable again. I feel like a turtle. It is maddening. Completely beyond words. I will say, however, having a tummy slightly on the tizzy (which could not be good and I need to get scoped) and much need dental work (a toothache makes a good appetite suppressant) makes saying “No” to that temptation a whole lot easier.

I have found as a post gastric bypass patient….. now 6 years out……. when these small gains have happened it is best to get back to basics; Smoothie for breakfast, small morning snack if needed (a protein bar or fruit/ veggie with peanut butter, etc. is good), my oh-so always delicious pepper wrap with cottage cheese and pineapple for lunch and just a nice healthy dinner. If I feel like I need a ‘dessert’, something on the fruity or lite side is good. Usually a Edy’s all natural fruit bar is a perfect night time treat. However, I also found out the oh-so hard way, it is a horrible way to wake up sick nerves in teeth …… and keep them pounding the whole night through.

Either way, I am making my way…. slow, slow, slowly back to my comfort zone. I do not mean my ‘sickly’ zone where I dropped to a ghastly 123 lbs and looked like a bag of bones. Another interesting note: I did find out my thyroid came back a little on the low side. Most people that know me know I have Hashimoto’s Disease of the thyroid with a nodule, benign, that means my ‘thermostat’ runs a bit sluggish and I take Levotyroxine (Synthroid) to help mother nature ‘boost’ my body’s ability to produce my thyroid hormone. I am not a Doctor or medical professional and the views I am about to present are those of my own research and own opinions. You may take them, and should you decide to use them, you do so at your own risk…. ok… now that I have made my disclaimer all proper,  it is worth noting that I was off of my Iodine supplement for several weeks. The supplement gives me 8,333% of my daily iodine intake. Research has not only shown Japan has the lowest cancer rate in the world, they have the best overall health in the world. This is with the influx of fast food and all modern day, first world accommodations that we all take for granted. In fact Paul remembers reading an article a few years ago in which they had to replace school desks for Japanese children because with the influx of fast food, better nutrition and overall health care, the generation of today is just, well…. much bigger and bulkier than their parents and grandparents. They are not unhealthy, just ‘beefier’ because of more diverse nutrition and probably the diverse heredity of the post World War II era. Yet, they are kicking our butts when it comes to health. The studies I have read show very low incidents of thyroid disease in Japan. A coincidence?  I do not think so. Study after study concludes that most first world countries only get a fraction of the iodine they need. Thyroid disease…. especially in women (though men are not immune…. my Uncle has an under-active thyroid) is almost epidemic. Think about it. How many people do you know that take a thyroid pill? Mine is only $4 a month! I know at least a dozen people that take Synthroid….and these are just the ones that I have had conversations about this subject with and have told me they have thyroid issues. I know people in my husband’s homeland across the ocean that have thyroid problems. It is not just the USA; it is worldwide.  When I started taking my iodine, drinking my smoothies and not eating as many sweets, I dropped seven pounds. I still have much to do. I need to get off the white, soft tortillas and get back to ONE whole wheat tortilla and stuff that baby full of my peppers. Does that mean I give up the treat of two soft white tortillas, ever? Of course not! I would fail! In my opinion, as a career ‘dieter’, having the soft white tortillas two times a week in place of whole wheat would not derail my goal. In fact it would probably keep me more firmly rooted to my plan than if I tried never to have an occasional ‘treat’ or ‘less healthy alternative’.  I need to start walking. Since I use a cane about 80-90% of the time (with Paul and by myself…. have not had the heart to when I go out around others, I am just too embarrassed), even if it is slow, with my cane, I need to move. Any movement at all is better than none.



There is much improvement that can help me obtain this 20 pound goal. I need to drink less diet soda and more water. My goal is to wean off diet soda completely for at least two weeks. I have a reason  and it is not to ‘punish myself’ and  certainly not money. I got to where I was drinking 1-2 diet sodas a day and iced herbal tea/water and morning coffee the rest of the day. The cost was about $3 a week. We occasionally (special occasion or if the stars all line up and I ‘feel tolerable’ which is my ‘good’) have a glass of wine with dinner. I would say 1-2 times a month. However I have no vices. I love crafting, but my crafts also make gifts and sometimes even sell once in a blue moon. Writing is free. I have my machine and my hands. Reading likewise…. especially now that I have a library card and we use the paperback exchange. Likewise for movies. The library is like Blockbuster! Only free! I have NO vices. None. So I am not going to rake myself over the coals for drinking diet soda. Nope. The reason I want to wean off for a few weeks is to see if it has any positive impact to my fibromyalgia.

In any event, as for these 20 lbs…. probably 23 lbs after Oscar night tonight (I have several marshmallow poles with my name on them)……. I will keep chugging along, slow and sure….. because I am the engine that could…. and I will! Oh, I will!  One thing is certain.”The only instance where negative words have had a highly positive, motivational impact are Winston Churchill’s, Never, never, never, never,  give up!”  I know I WILL succeed. Failure is not an obtain. Until next time K.


If You Can’t Be In the Bod You Love, Love The Bod You’re With


*Just a call out to the video; shot in my ‘neck of the woods’ Pac Hwy 1 🙂

     Seven Months. Seven Months. There is no excuse. I hang my head in shame. Dear readers; those who have had, are thinking of having or possibly are just interested in the subject of what happens to a person after they have RNY, I promise to never let seven months go by again (unless I am out of commission, etc). The reason is simple; I have gained 20-25 lbs and I am ashamed. 🙁 I am sad. I am depressed. I am mortified, on some days I am paralyzed. Lately however, as it seems Mr. Scale is hanging in its new comfort zone, I am getting more ‘comfortable’. Naw…… not really, but hey, it was worth a try!  Still not over the limit of my BMI, I do however want to lose at least 20 lbs. And I will. Somehow. This blog, however, is not just about the ‘good’, it is about everything. And my gain is just more proof than ever that gastric bypass is NOT an ‘easy fix’, the ‘easy way out’ or ‘I will just have surgery and it will be fine’.  No, you have to put your all into it. You have to make changes. Lifestyle, mind-style, spirit-style; complete and forever.

     Why this weight gain? If I new that I would be typing the words, “I beat it!”, “I figured it out!”, “I nipped it in the bud!” but alas, no, I didn’t, I haven’t and no bud has been nipped. I have numerous theories, but they are just that; theories.

* Medications: my Doctors have been trying me on/ taking me off/ putting me on numerous meds over the last year. 1st I was diagnosed as ADD and given stimulants then taken off because of raging headaches. I somehow made it through 47 years just fine, and then because I tend to take after the woman who helped raise me, my babysitter (who was like a Grandma to me), Lillian Kirk….. Portuguese and I mean it was like talking to a bull in a maze……so because of that I was dx ADD. I was a good student both in High School and College. I should have dug my heels in and said, “NO!”…. heck, if it was not for the raging headaches, I would get back on the meds; all of Hollywood takes Adderell for weight loss! Then this then that. I am still trying to find my medication sweet spot though I am less medicated than I ever have been since diagnosis with fibromyalgia in 1996.  Some of the medications I take can make you gain weight! I just need to figure out if/ and/ or which ones are doing the deed. If that is indeed part of the problem.

* That ole “D” monster rearing its head. Prone to clinical depression since 1993 (feeling NO shame in something that is a chemical imbalance in my brain), people with weight issues tend to eat more when depressed. That is just a fact. I have been going through the grueling, horrible disability process. It is a cruel, unjust process. I worried sick about Christmas as I do every year and had to wait until December 20th to finish the rest of the  Christmas EVERYTHING shopping; gifts, food, baking, etc. That gave me 2 1/2 days to shop, cook and bake. Wanting to lessen the stress for my daughter and son-in-law and wanting to make magical, *unrushed* memories for my Granddaughter, we did our Christmas on the 23rd… have at least, for the last 2 years. I really don’t care for the most part, as long as I get A day that is within a day or two of Christmas Eve/Christmas. The only draw back is that shortens my deadline by a day (for them anyway; for Taylor, who was here on the 24th, I had a smidge extra time).  Being the child of divorced parents, I understand how difficult it is to split out your time while making your own traditions for your own family and children as my Daughter is for my Granddaughter. I also want to add her and my Son-in-law are doing a *WONDERFUL* job of parenting. I am so proud of both of them. In any event; when you are struggling financially, emotionally or in any way…. Christmas is not so Merry and Bright as it is stressful and utterly depressing for some.


Let’s not forget about those too, that are alone on Christmas. If I could fly my Uncle out each and every Christmas, I would in a heartbeat. It is just him and I now (as far as my immediate family on my Dad’s side) and being the ‘swinging bachelor’ in his day, he never married or had kids so I am ‘his kid’. As I told him on the phone just a few weeks ago, there is no one…. NO ONE in the world that loves him like I do. There may be some very exciting news related to this subject over the course of the next few years. Stay tuned. 😉 In the meantime, there are those that are alone on the holidays and it breaks my heart. I know that is off topic a bit but I always have to give a plug for the lonely at heart the time of year we just finished up.

*Another possibility: slipping back into old ways: I can see it in the ‘bad foods’; those new freeze dried marshmallows meant for cocoa but that I could keep out of. They are tiny little crunchy bits of Heaven. I have eaten like 3 canisters of them them in one week (it is not *THAT* bad… but at 600 calories a canister, bad, but not bad as some might think! I keep saying I will resist and only use them for cocoa (just a couple tablespoons) but they are just so good. That was then: update…. I just had to finally quit buying them. My best advice to all RNY and Lap Band patients: you just may have to avoid ALL ‘red light’ foods except for very special occasions such as Christmas Day and Thanksgiving, etc.

Whoever thought of these should be flogged. They are evil and addictive. This is what I would call one of my red light foods! Actually that is an understatement. :-/ Oh , mercy me.


   *Another theory:  Just plain too big a portions and falling back into bad eating habits. That pouch stretches and with my ‘revision’ aka  gastrojejunostomy which is when I had my intestine perforation, the opening was made bigger so food passes thru quicker. There was not a choice. When the intestine perforated and Dr Kessler had to fix everything, he did his best, but he is not a bariatric surgeon so he worked with what he had.  It was  a long , difficult recovery and my weight dipped very low to the point my medical records are noted that I looked ’emaciated’ and ‘gaunt’ at times. Let’s just say I was not meant to weigh 123 lbs. (just under 9 stone for UK’ers….. but I am 5ft 8 in tall with 10-15 lbs of excess skin so that would take me down below 110 ‘true’ lbs which is just under 8 stone for a true weight). But now I am thinking I would rather weigh that than what I do now! I don’t know. No….. I still get flirts, looks and other like gestures. When I was 123 lbs I got looks alright, but they weren’t good looks.


Enough of the ‘why’s’, let’s get to the “WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO NOW!”. I WILL NOT be the manager of the grocery store I frequent the most. She is lovely with a bright smile but has gained over 1/2 of her weight back, has all her weight related health issues back and has a terrible time walking. She said she fixed ‘here’ as she points to her stomach, but did not fix ‘here’ as she points to her ‘head’. I nod firmly in agreement with her. As I go get another veggie wrap or get into Paul’s granola cereal…. if I really HAVE to eat, I know I could munch on some carrots, celery, apple slices and herbal tea. My diet soda issue is back in blazes. I was down to 1-2 a DAY from 6-8. I am not quite that bad again, but drink 3-4 glasses (we get the 2 litres). That stuff increases appetite and is just plain not good for you. I will defend the cost because 1. We do not drink, smoke, have a video game player or even go out, etc. We maybe eat out 3-4 times a year….. about every 3-4 months. I about FAINTED when  I saw what cigarettes cost and wondered… how DO people afford to smoke? $50 for a carton! OMG! =8-O  Paul said it was worse in the UK.


Walking: Yes, it is winter; but most days are sunny and warm ‘enough’ that if you bundle up, you can get out for 15 -20 minutes. It is about the only thing I can do exercise wise because of my fibromyalgia and my leg has been ‘giving out’ on me lately at least twice or so a week. Nonetheless, I can take my cane and just move. There is an elderly man in the area I live in. He is very grumpy because every time I am driving off and he is out, he has a scowl on his face but I smile and wave anyway. He never does anything, but I am a bit stubborn and am intent on making this man wave, smile, etc. His family is from India? Pakistan? One of those places and there is a bunch of them in one apartment including a couple kids….. one of whom has seem to have taken to me. This elderly man has a three pointed cane and is out nearly every morning ‘shuffling’. That is his walk but by gosh, he is doing it. And finally one morning, after Paul had accompanied me to a Doctor appointment, though he did not smile, he did wave back! 🙂 If he can ‘shuffle’, so can I!


Most of all though, it is just, as I would mentor over and over, getting back to basics. Going back and measuring, keeping a food diary, really being in touch with what goes into my mouth and STAYING AWAY from the sugary sweet stuff. Those little Sweethearts are out now. You know, the soft, sweet hearts of different colors that used to, in my day, say things like “I love you” or “xxoo” but now say “Friend me” or “Text me”. I love those things…. could eat a bag a day. And the Dollar General marshmallow ribbons. The list goes on. It is as simple as good foods prepared right, in the amount I am supposed to have. Some exercise. A splurge/ treat once in a while. And, most of all, sheer, common sense. Also, I am reading the book, “Never Going Back” by Al Roker of “Good Morning America”

who also had RNY and he actually gained 50 lbs back. He tells his story and has some good recipe’s to boot.  So I will keep you posted. Until next time……K.

Pulling Out All The Stops


First I will start by saying Rasberry Ketones SUCK! DO..NOT….WASTE….YOUR…. MONEY!!!

I saw them on the Dr. Oz  show (am I the only one that thinks that man is manic and expects you to remember a million and one things?) They are supposed to ‘excite’ fat cells and make them shrink, go away, or something like that. I have been taking 2 a day for several weeks. NOTHING. While I am , in full force, back on my iodine (and the little bit my thyroid had grown, it is now shrunk again), I still maintain iodine is the best bet over all for boosting the metabolism. But for the love of all the Saints and Angels, I cannot figure out what is going on with me in the here and now.

So, I am starting back to the basics when I had my RNY. Four mornings a week I am doing smoothies. The other three I will do my famous pepper and onion scramble with turkey breakfast sausage (does not taste a BIT different from real sausage and only has 120 calories for 3 links / 2 patties)


With that a high fiber low fat english muffin (100 cals, high protein and high fiber).


Sometimes I make a sausage sandwich out of the english muffins and turkey sausage. I also use a little REAL spreadable butter for a softer and tastier muffin.  For lunch either a pepper onion stir fry on a whole wheat tortilla, a whole wheat tortilla pizza, etc with a small bowl of cottage cheese and fruit. Lots of fresh veggies and fruit and a lite, healthy dinner. Back to basics! Portion control will be very strict. I am starting my walking…. or at least giving it my best shot. If I am in the middle of a big fibro-flare I feel like I have been beat with a baseball bat. If I am in the middle of a funk, which of course makes one want to eat more and increase the appetite, that also makes things challenging. But I am aware, very aware. This must be how it starts for people who gain some of their weight back.  A little of this, a little of that. Five pounds here, Five pounds there. Well this has reached a  S*T*O*P!Let me put this in perspective. I am getting compliments. LOTS of compliments as I had fallen down the rabbit hole way too far. I looked bad…. really bad. When I was ‘movie-star’ thin, I looked like I just walked away from a concentration camp.

Now, I have been writing this in spurts. As of today, I am down to ‘only’ needing to lose 7-10 lbs at the most. It got BAD but this morning I felt ‘lighter’ and I was! So getting back to basics must be doing good! 8-D  Plus it is payday which means we are low on food and I go grocery shopping. But I will be GOOD with the things that tempt me.

Exercise. With warm weather coming the pool is opening soon! 🙂 But alas, I sit and bake more than swim so here is what I am going to do. Twice a day4-5 times a week I am walking. The first time will be around the beautiful grounds I live on. If I go around twice it is about 1/2 a mile. Then in the evening, Paul and I can go walk a mile by the river.

Water. I do not drink enough. I never did and it is a struggle for me to drink enough water, but I am going to be aware and try to drink as much as I can. I do drink a lot of iced herbal tea (de-caff) in the summer and I know that counts for some of my water but that is still not enough.

So the battle for 10 lbs is still in play. Gahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!


My Worst Fight Yet!


For the last several weeks I have had 10 lbs to lose.  I am not quite sure how I put it on. I think it was my iodine. First, I bought my last order (before the one I just received) from another company who carefully worded it to make it look like you got two bottles of iodine for the price of one. I am near certain I got ‘bad’ iodine. The iodine was helping my thyroid do what it needed to do to function normally therefore allowing my metabolism to function as it should. Because of finances, it was a month before I could order my iodine and I even knew then I would be going back to the original company. So weak iodine + gap in taking iodine = metabolism slipping back into “Hashi’s mode/ slow” to say the least. This is my theory but it may have been something else altogether. Now this does not mean I want to get back to my lowest. After seeing pics of me at my lowest and them again after I put some weight back on, I now know why people were so concerned. I looked downright HORRIBLE! UNWELL! It was frightening to see pictures of me in the the 120’s. I will not be getting in that weight range again! I looked old and feeble. However, I am at a spot where I feel just 10 lbs….. just 10…….

This is proof that when you have weight loss surgery, the ‘fight’ is never over. You make the lifestyle changes but if you start drifting even a bit, things can turn on a dime. I have red light foods….. kids cereal, Lotus biscuits, blow pops and many other things I either try to keep in rational amounts or none at all. I try to keep healthy foods in reach; fresh fruits, veggies, whole grain crackers, cheese, etc. Lately I have really been off kilter; in a funk; out of sorts. My fibro is flaring enough to light up Manhattan. It is difficult not to be sad when you hurt all the time. Whether that has anything to do with this weight stall, ten pounds too high, I don’t know.  I do know I have to find my way back and I think the best thing to do is to get back to basics. I need to do the things and think the way I did in the early days. Easier said than done. I tend to lose my appetite when I am stressed but eat more when I am depressed, so this has been challenging to say the least!

So I wish I had words of wisdom this time around. Something magical to say. However, I am struggling myself with this 10 lbs. I know it is not just bad iodine. Old habits creep in so easily. I get Lotus biscuits to have with nightly tea and instead of having 4, many times I have 8 or… well, you know. 🙁  I went through a similar issue a few years ago and lost the 10 lbs. I will do it again. But it won’t be the ‘magic surgery’. If the surgery was so magic, Carnie Wilson (bless her heart), would not have gotten lap band over her RNY.

When I had my surgery, I had months of preparation. I had support groups, dietician meetings, psych meetings, etc. My bariatric surgeon made sure I was completely ready for this big  journey I was about to undertake.  I am considered a success story in the big scheme of things, yet down in the dumps and disappointed in myself because of this 10 lbs. I am taking this very seriously.

This is for life. I am NOT going back to where I was. It is not happening. I will find my way. So those who are having the surgery, have just had it or are vets like me; yep, even the ‘success stories’ have their off moments. I will win though, oh, I will win!